Colombian Cartel Simulator
- 1 player
- 1 player
Welcome to the glamorous world of international... fruit exports. (Wink.)
In Colombian Cartel Simulator, you’ll go from humble street hustler to full-blown “businessman” with a suspicious amount of helicopters. Cook mystery powder in high-tech jungle labs, smuggle your “spices” in increasingly dumb ways (looking at you, parrot backpack), and build an empire so shady, even your mom will stop asking questions.
From bribing local officials with gift baskets to flying a submarine through a thunderstorm (yes, you read that right), your day job includes everything except a 401k.
From smuggling sugar in submarine sandwiches to escaping the DEA on a dirt bike with a monkey co-pilot (don’t ask), your career path is anything but boring.
Questionably Legal Features:
From Nobody to Narco – Rise through the ranks of questionable entrepreneurship.
Smuggle Creatively – Use planes, boats, tunnels, hollow fruit, trained pigeons, or your cousin Jorge.
Evade with Style – If you're being chased by six black SUVs and a drone, congrats — you're doing great.
Build Your Lab – Add blenders, alarms, laser crocodiles (eventually), and a disco light for no reason.
Expand Your “Business” – Control regions, outwit rivals, and totally don’t launder money through a llama farm.
No violence. No crime. Just intense supply chain management.
Definitely not a simulator about being a drug lord. Nope.
Build your empire. Avoid federal prison. Look cool doing it.
- Release:
- 2026
- Publisher:
- Tetyana Vysochanska
- Genres:
- Simulation, Adventure